Dish Night at the Movies
During the Great Depression, it became increasingly difficult to convince people to spend money on movie tickets when they could barely afford basic necessities. To address this, theaters across the country started running promotions to get people to fill their seats, including “dish night,” which incentivized regular patronage by including a free dish each week. In order to get the full set, people would have to keep going back to the movies.
This promotion was so popular that old lady fights would break out in theater lobbies over gravy boats and serving trays. Seriously. So if you want a glimpse of just how terrible the Great Depression was, chew on that for a minute. Imagine old ladies punching each other in the faces (probably) and busting out nunchucks (less likely) all for something like this:
I know most movies back then were black and white... but people could see in color, right?
Ghostbusters II Record in Ghostbusters II Cereal
There are at least two mind-blowing components right there in the name of this entry. First of all, Ghostbusters II cereal was a real thing that existed at one time... although if you hadn’t eaten the original Ghostbusters cereal first, it might not make any sense. Number two: inside that box, there were actual (square) vinyl records that were part of the "Movie Mystery Sweepstakes," which contained trivia questions about the movie. Best of all, if your cut-out record happened to be white or gold and you answered all of the questions correctly, you could win the chance to meet a real Ghostbuster!
And what kid wouldn't be thrilled to find out that it was actually the guy who did the voice of Egon in the cartoon spinoff?
From what I can tell, the box also appears to contain some kind of food-like substance.
Jar of Knives
No, this is not the name of a shitty mid-90s alternative rock band. It's actually a giveaway item for trade shows. I know... most of the time, people are probably only expected to take one, but there's just something about reaching into a jar of knives that makes you want to grab a whole handful.
Win an AR-15 Assault Rifle from a Florida Senator
In June 2016, a week after the horrific mass shooting at the Florida nightclub, a state Senator from America’s dong named Greg Evers announced that he would be randomly giving away an AR-15 assult rifle to someone within his constituency in order to “protect our constitutional rights.” The rifle even had the second amendment etched right into the stock, just in case the winner happened to be literate.
For all fourteen years that Evers was in office, he received an A+ rating from the NRA. He did not win reelection after this tasteless publicity stunt. He was, however, probably given a free calendar from the NRA.
And a woman from Pensacola is now the proud owner of military-style weapon that was designed to kill people. U.S.A.!!
Cracker Jack Dabbles in the Occult
Cracker Jack has always been known for having cheap toys inside. In fact, that’s probably what you think of when someone says the name. Over the years, they have had prizes ranging from temporary tattoos to a tiny toy pipe... because it's never too soon to introduce kids to skin ink and tobacco products.
Perhaps the strangest prize that they ever included was a small tin wheel that told fortunes. This was back in the 1930s, so people were desperate for even a glint of optimism. (Remember the old ladies?) This magical device would tell a person's fortune just by entering the letters of his or her name.
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| Mine says... disappointed. |
My guess is that most of the time, this thing told people that they would have stale caramel-corn stuck to their teeth. One fortune that they never could have predicted was that in 2013, Cracker Jack's iconic prizes would be replaced by QR codes.
And you thought that the cardboard maze with the tiny metal marble was a piece of shit.
Candles With Diamond Rings Inside
According to the company website, the founder of Diamond Candles got the idea for his business back in 1980 when he proposed to the woman that he would later marry. Thinking that an engagement ring just wasn’t enough, he also presented his fiancee-to-be with a candle (you know, just in case), and thus the concept was born. Except he decided that it would be even better to put some cheap costume jewelry inside the candle. Oh, and there's also a very slim chance that it may contain an actual ring worth somewhere in the neighborhood of $100 -- while the candles themselves cost about $25.
I'm guessing that they don't sell a lot of these to math majors.
The company has since proven to be highly successful, even prompting a number of imitators to follow this same basic business model. They sell hope, and apparently the rare occasion when a woman gets a ring in her candle that doesn't give her a weird rash and which also miraculously fits on one of her fingers is enough to keep this hope afloat.
That's almost sadder than old lady fights.
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