Happy New Year

Soon we can all say good riddance to 2016. If that’s not something to celebrate, then I don’t know what is. Here in the U.S., we have a tradition of getting drunk with the television on. On New Year's Eve, we get the added bonus of watching a live broadcast of a big shiny object as it steadily descends from the top of a tower to the bottom, where it then becomes super sparkly. 

It is pure spectacle.

"I can't stop cheering. It's so... shiny."

It's also a little weird if you think about it.

With that in mind, here are some New Year traditions from around the world that may also seem strange:

Spain

In Spain, if you want to have good luck in the coming year, you have to eat twelve grapes (either all at once or in rapid succession) at the stroke of midnight. However, if you choke and die, that’s considered bad luck.

Chile

It is common for people in Chile to spend the night in the cemetery on New Year's Eve, sleeping near the graves of loved ones. So if you think the party that you’ve been invited to sucks, remember: at least you’ve got a toilet and you’re not surrounded by rotting corpses. 

Denmark

Danes often break plates to celebrate the New Year, a tradition that I suspect may have originated at the very sneaky suggestion of a consortium of dinnerware manufacturers. Their industry is no doubt highly lucrative this time of year. 

As you can see, these plates are all at least 25% off.

Switzerland

The New Year's tradition in Switzerland is to drop ice cream on the floor all day. Why? Because fuck ice cream. And floors. My guess is that the makers of fine Swiss ice cream got wind of the dinnerware racket over in Denmark and wanted a piece of that action. 

Mr. Clean may have been in on it, too.

Mr. Clean's mafia connections have never been proven.

Belgium and Romania

In both of these countries, there is a tradition to talk to one’s cows at the new year. If they respond, you will have bad luck for next twelve months. Also, one hell of a hangover. On the bright side, you may have also befriended a talking bovine with which to share many magical adventures. 

South Africa

In parts of South Africa, people throw furniture out their windows to celebrate the new year. Out with last year's trash to make room for something new. College students, take note: all the free used furniture you can take, and it's literally falling from the sky. The only catch is that you have to go to South Africa to get it. Winter break 2018! 

Colombia

The New Year's tradition for many Colombians is that if they want to do any traveling in the coming year, then they should carry around packed suitcases all day. It makes you wonder how many of them get left in bars that night or mixed up with somebody else's. There are probably some funny stories in there. Actually, the idea of having a suitcase on New Year's Eve isn't even that crazy of an idea, because you never know where the evening will take you. Of course, in the U.S., if you accidentally leave your luggage somewhere, somebody's probably calling Homeland Security.  

Happy New Year!

Wherever you are in the world, I wish you a happy new year. Thank you for taking the time to read my work. 

A long time ago, I made the resolution of not making any more resolutions. Personally, I think it's better to set some realistic goals for yourself instead. Resolutions are for quitters. Instead, pick something that you want to be better at by the end of the year or something that you hope to accomplish. You could even make a list. If, by this time next year, you have achieved at least one of those things, then you'll indeed have something to celebrate. Besides, a little bit of pride is good for you. 

May your lives be filled with beauty, knowledge and laughter. 

Cheers!

Generation/Degeneration

If there’s one thing that the Fresh Prince got right, it’s that parents just don’t understand. Children tend to see the world differently than the previous generation, due in part to the fact that the world itself is often quite different by the time they come to know it as adults. Change is the only constant.

In 1991, historians William Strauss and Neil Howe wrote a book called Generations: The History of America’s Future, which is a fascinating look at generational patterns in American history. They claim that since the average American tends to live around eighty-eight years or less and that every twenty-two years or so, a person enters a new phase of being, then an individual human life can therefore be thought to consist of four parts: youth, rising adulthood, midlife and elderhood.

The authors further contend that American history can be conceptualized in precisely the same manner. That is, it can be more or less neatly divided into eras of approximately eight-eight years, each of which consists of four distinct phases that happen in a recurring order. Strauss and Howe refer to these as "turnings," but they can be thought of much like seasons, and the social climate during each of these seasons tends to affect people who are roughly the same age in very similar ways, which is precisely what defines them as a generation. Whatever it was, they all lived through it. 

This would mean that Generation X is this cycle’s version of the Lost Generation, and it's probably not a coincidence that Millennials seem to have a lot in common with the G.I. Generation. According to the authors, the former two are Nomad generations, having not been afforded the stability that other generations take for granted, whereas the latter two are thought to be Civic generations because of their proclivity to come together for a commonly perceived good, particularly in times of distress. 

Do they look lost to you?

According to this four-part recurring pattern, it would seem that we have the most in common with our great grandparents, but since few of us ever have the chance learn from them directly, we tend to make the same mistakes repeatedly...

I don't know about you, but I'm starting to see a pattern in all of this. 

What's So Funny?

Ever wonder why everyone else around you is laughing, but you're not? 

It's probably you. 

Actually, here are seven reasons why we laugh, brought to you by science:



Humor Makes You Healthier

Even supervillains know that you have to laugh. Seriously, it's like the first thing they teach you in bad guy school. Then they make you pick an arch-enemy.  

"It's good to be here at the Sandusky Mariott...
For today's TED Talk, I shall explain... how to destroy Superman!"

Laughing has been proven to relieve stress, boost a person’s immune system and burn calories. As a result, people who laugh a lot tend to live longer (that is, until everyone they used to laugh at is dead). People who spend their days laughing also tend to enjoy their lives a lot more. If you don't believe me, give it a try sometime. 

Of course, while it has often been said that laughter is the best medicine, you may want to see a doctor about that rash. By the way, I don't recommend that anyone ever types the word "rash" into an image search engine. Trust me on this one. It doesn't end well.


Jokes Make You Smarter

The basic formula for just about any joke is to offer some familiar context plus the introduction of an unexpected element, which leads to a new perspective of that which is otherwise familiar. In other words, comedy shows us new ways of seeing what we think we already know. When the brain processes a joke, an intellectual incongruity is resolved by creating a new neural pathway. 

Over time, this network builds, and its complexity and interconnectedness is one of the primary factors in determining a person’s intelligence. Comedy connects the dots. 

There's a reason we're called smart asses.


It is How We Make Sense of the World

Just as babies develop an awareness of their surroundings, they begin to laugh. Even at this age, humor requires a familiar context, which is then interrupted by a sudden, unexpected contrast. As noted by scholar David Misch, this is just as true with advanced forms of comedy as it is with peekaboo. A skilled practitioner of the form sets us up to expect one thing and then presents us with something else. This leads us to make connections where they did not previously exist, which causes us to incrementally adjust our perceptions of the world. 

After all, what is peekaboo if not a sudden disruption and reconstruction of one’s perception of reality? And couldn't the same be said for just about any joke that surprises us with the punchline?



Humor is a Social Tool

Anthropologists believe that laughter first developed in ancient humans as a way of signaling that a moment of tension had passed. It was a way of letting others know that everything was going to be ok. From there, we developed language… and eventually poop jokes. In this sense, laughter was a precursor to other forms of verbal expression, just as it is with infants.

Some anthopolgists believe that social laughter, on the other hand, initially developed as a way for intelligent beta males in the primate world to say, “Hey, we’re cool. right? It was just a joke..." This type of laughter was a way of easing interpersonal tensions, and it is thought to have helped forge the first extra-familial bonds that would lead to civilization and to the development of more advanced forms of communication... like text messaging.

It Is How We Deal With Personal and Cultural Anxieties

Consider how much you can tell about a person by his or her sense of humor. In fact, for a lot of people, this is one of the primary criteria that defines their friendships. We tend to gravitate toward people who share a similar sense of humor, because what makes a person laugh can be both a reflection of the various ideologies to which that person subscribes, as well as an indicator of his or her life experiences.

Furthermore, the things that make us the most anxious tend to surface in the comedy that we are drawn to, whether sex, growing up, death or politics, as just four examples. When people laugh together at something, they form a broader coalition, an inside group who agrees to an alignment of perspectives, at least temporarily. When a joke touches on an anxiety that is familiar to us, it offers catharsis through the resolution of the punchline while simultaneously allowing us to recognize that we are not alone in our deepest hopes and fears. 

Comedy is pretty serious stuff. 

Despite the recent outbreak of scary clown sightings,
it is still not ok to go around punching clowns at random.

Comedy Forms Part of a Larger Discourse

Understanding humor can tell us a great deal about what it means to belong to a certain culture at a particular time and place. Comedy, whether today or a hundred years ago, is a reflection of the culture from which it emerges. 

What do you suppose industrialization was doing for the
rural south in the 1920s (when this movie was made)?

This explains why some jokes hold up better than others, while certain humor just doesn’t translate from one culture to another. Comedy is part of a much bigger conversation about what people deem to be important (and not). It is a way of separating intellect from emotion in order to address bigger social problems, and it forms part of a larger system of checks and balances that is a crucial component of any functioning civilization. Even monarchs had court jesters, and in cards, the joker trumps the king... because the joker is wild, unpredictable.

This one knows karate chops.

Sweet, Sweet Brain Chemicals

Since early humans didn't have the physical advantages of other animals, our frontal lobes developed as a way of coping with a hostile environment. Our ancient ancestors survived by seeing patterns in the natural world and attempting to make sense out of them. As a remnant of this evolutionary process, modern humans still have a built-in reward system for when we find patterns in things. Our brains release endorphins as a way of saying, "Good job, brain. Keep up the good work." 

Yes. They are essentially the brain's form of Scooby Snacks.

In a joke, when the pattern of the setup is suddenly disrupted by the punchline, our bodies release adrenaline as part of the "fight or flight" response. In PET scans, the brain lights up like a Christmas tree when a person is processing a joke. As the neurons fire away, the intellectual incongruity is resolved through a new understanding (i.e., getting the joke), and our brains are flooded with more of those sweet endorphins. In terms of neurochemistry, this is why it feels good to laugh. 

It could also be this brain juice cocktail that explains why the ability to make each other laugh is often such a valued characteristic in the people with whom we surround ourselves. 

It's good to feel good. No joke.

Seven Often Overlooked Turning Points in Film History

Film history is typically divided into eras denoted by the aesthetics and subject matters of the movies that were commonly being produced at that time. However, there were also a number of seemingly inconsequential factors that unfolded behind the scenes, the effects of which have been enormous. 

A Minor Technological Advancement Transformed Movies Into a Storytelling Medium

In 1896, the Latham Loop allowed films to be long enough to contain a narrative. This is when they went from a novelty to something that could convey a sense of drama. Prior to this, there was too much tension on the reel and the film would break if left uninterrupted, so they couldn’t be more than a minute long. Movies were for spectacle, not stories.

However, after the invention of the Latham Loop, a single reel of film could be between ten and sixteen minutes... so now they could effectively convey a narrative. Incidentally, this is why sequences in movies (which can be thought of like chapters) are still that approximate duration of time today. Once it was in the grammar, it stuck. 





Hollywood Exists Because Edison Was a Dick

The Motion Picture Patents Company (MPPC), also known as the Edison Trust, forced all filmmakers to pay royalties to Edison because he held the patents on the equipment necessary to make movies. Apparently, the only thing Edison liked more than being an asshole was making money, and fortunately for him, the two often go hand-in-hand.

In order to escape his lawyers, aspiring filmmakers headed west and settled in a place where they could get their money's worth out of the sunshine and have a variety of diverse locations within driving distance. It was also far enough away that Edison had very little to say regarding their day-to-day operations. Eventually, the Edison Trust was proven to be a monopoly and dissolved, but by that point, the movie industry had already relocated most of their facilities to California.






The Catholic Church Decided What Movies Should Look Like

The Catholic Legion of Decency wasn't just known for their crappy parties. They were also directly responsible for the creation of the MPPDA, which is the organization that censored film content throughout the Great Depression and beyond. That is to say that officials from the Catholic Church were directly responsible for deciding what a movie should look in what were arguably the industry's most formative years. 

Years later, the MPPDA mutated into the MPAA, which is the secret organization that assigns a capital letter or two and maybe a number to just about every movie that is released in the United States. Graphic violence: PG. The F-bomb (as long as it isn't used as a verb): PG-13. Pubic hair: R. Non-heteronormative romance: NC-17...?! 

In many ways, the criteria upon which they make their decisions hasn’t changed all that much since the 1930s. Even today, it is still essentially an organization of god-fearing puritans trying to protect the American public from sin.  






There’s a Reason Why You Don’t See Overt Social Commentary in Depression-Era Films

Sound films came into being right before the Great Depression. It was kind of bad timing. The studios took out huge loans, and when the economy crashed, it became increasingly difficult to convince people to spend money on movie tickets. As a result, almost all of the major studios became so far in debt that the banks “restructured” their executive hierarchies by putting some of their own in a number of prominent positions. In the cases of Paramount and Fox, they even chose banking executives to be the new studio heads. 

"A road paved with gold! An entire city made out of emeralds! You call that frugal?"

As if that wasn't enough conservative influence on the motion picture industry, in 1934, a deeply religious man named Joseph Breen was appointed to lead the newly formed Production Code Administration (PCA), which was basically the teeth of the MPPDA. Breen created an enforceable "production code," where theater owners vowed to not screen any movies that didn't get the PCA's stamp of approval. 

Breen was sympathetic to the overlords of the world economy as well, and he coined the term “industry policy” as a reason why films would get rejected or cut if they contained anything that could be considered anti-big business. After all, it wouldn't be very nice to remind audiences about how the greed that fuels capitalism had only just recently destroyed the entire global economy. Instead, American movie-goers saw bankers and industrialists consistently portrayed in a positive light, largely thanks to the rewrites of this guy.






Nine Justices Who Really Want to Direct 

Three Supreme Court decisions have had a pretty huge impact on the motion picture industry. First, there was the 1915 Mutual Film v. Ohio decision, where it was determined that movies are not art, but entertainment, and they are therefore not protected by the first amendment. In 1929, in an attempt to counter this impression and legitimize their art to the public, the first Academy Awards ceremony was held. 

Pictured: not art...?

In 1948, the case commonly known as the "Paramount Decree" busted up the studio system, opening the door for independents, just in time for an industry purge of any of them that may lean to the left politically. This marked the end of "vertical integration," which was where the studios controlled virtually all aspects of production, distribution and exhibition. The Paramount Decree forced the studios to sell off their theaters.

Then in 1952, the “Miracle Case" decided that film is an art form after all. Whoops. Sorry to all those good folks we blacklisted, but no, you can't have your jobs back. In the meantime, a new wave of independent filmmakers found audiences without the studios' help... just by having something important to say. 

High Ho Silver, Away!

In 1979, two very wealthy brothers from Texas cornered the market on silver futures, raising its price dramatically overnight. This had an effect on the cost of film prints because silver halide is one of the primary components of film stock. Studios panicked and started to pursue other avenues of distribution. This is when home video started to take off, thereby opening up a whole new market that did not require the expense of making film prints. 

Except porn. That's on VHS... which is a large part
of why consumer Betamax died out when it did.

Of course, years later, film prints would be done away with almost entirely as well, as most movies today are distributed to theaters and homes digitally — but the silver scare happened at just the right time to coincide with the commercial availability of VHS and Betamax, as well as the proliferation of cable television. Again, there was a rise in low-budget independent films that were made as a result of the democratization of the medium.






Thanks For Everything, Steven Spielberg!

Jaws changed everything. It was marketed on television and had associated merchandising like lunch boxes and board games. It wasn't just a movie. Jaws was marketed as a cultural event that anyone could be a part of just by buying some crap. Studios realized that they could get a lot more money out of children and teenagers this way, and there's nothing immoral about marketing a bunch of junk to kids in promotion of an anti-shark propaganda film... right?

Then came Star Wars and the blockbuster model of production officially took over. When in doubt, the go-to answer was always more explosions... even in the vacuum of space, laws of physics be damned. Spielberg was also one of the pioneers of product placement and digital revisionism -- take E.T., for example. 

Now consider that product placement and digital revisionism are two things that really suck about a lot of movies. And let's be honest: E.T. is a terrible fucking movie. It is a two hour commercial for a certain peanut butter flavored candy. You know which one. It also spawned the worst Atari 2600 game ever. But more to the point, this film is a saccharine-fueled collection of obvious choices, which is usually the mark of a pretty shitty director. 

"Hey George, how much money do you think we can get out of these suckers?"

With Saving Private Ryan, Spielberg proved that CGI can actually be considerably cheaper than using practical effects... and it was all in the name of patriotism and violence. Today, this is the norm. 

Think about that for a second. Consider how much the use of computer generated imagery has changed the art form. It's the difference between capturing light and creating it. 

Be the green spandex.

Today, actors and actresses commonly have to act alongside CGI characters amidst scenery that will be added in post-production. But isn't that every thespian's dream? Meanwhile, the story -- what film once proved so eager to tell -- has once again taken a backseat to the spectacle.

Polarizing Patterns of Politics

While American politics may seem like a big sloppy mess (and it is), it actually follows relatively predictable patterns. Basically, one party holds power until that power distances them from the people that they are supposed to represent, and then the other major party makes an appeal to those voters until the same thing happens. 

Around it goes, like a turd in a toilet.

This is why looking at a graph of US political leanings over an extended period of our history is like studying the tracks of a drunk snowmobiler. It swings widely in one direction and then the other, back and forth as if through imagined slaloms. Every once in a while, the whole cumbersome machine spins out of control, wildly in all directions. 

However, amidst the chaos, there is an underlying logic to it all. According to British political scientist Paul Allen Beck, American politics follows a three-part recurring cycle. First, there is the "realigning" period, which is when the major political parties are restructured with different coalitions, platforms and financial support. Then there is the "stable alignment," which is when the political parties maintain a consistent brand identity for an extended period of time, and the third stage is the "dealigning" period, where the political parties implode only to start the whole process over again.

John Travolta's career has followed a similar pattern. 

Beck claims that these political cycles repeat every thirty to forty years. When he wrote this article back in 1979, he accurately noted that American politics was then in a period of "dealigning," and as a result, he believed that the country would soon take a very different direction. The following year indeed brought us the Reagan Revolution -- and with it, the aggressive normalization of the neoliberal economic model throughout the world. A decade later, when the Berlin Wall finally fell, capitalism was declared the winner by TKO. Ever since, the free market has ruled the world virtually unopposed, though voices of dissent have steadily grown louder, particularly in recent years. 

In 1986, famed historian Arthur Schlesinger, Jr. wrote a book called The Cycles of American History that explores a very similar premise, while also touching on broader patterns of U.S. expansionism and isolationism, as well as economic cycles of boom and bust. His basic argument is that the whole point in understanding history -- this field of study to which he had dedicated much of his life -- is to learn from it so that the same mistakes shall not be repeated. 

The patterns that he descibes echo many of the ideas in Beck's model, which also seem to have played out in real life. Further, both of these authors would contend that we are once again in a period of political dealignment, to which leading scholars say, “Yeah… no shit.”