More Like the Wrong Brothers

On December 17, 1903, Wilbur and Orville Wright changed the course of human history by keeping their plane in the air for a whopping twelve seconds, thereby ushering in the era of modern air travel. This is why North Carolina license plates say "First in Flight," while those from Ohio (where the Wright Brothers were from) say "Birthplace of Aviation" -- instead of the more appropriate "Least Racist of the Carolinas" and "The Rest Stop State," respectively. 

However, two brothers from another mother country (in this case France), actually beat them to it by a hundred and twenty years.

In 1783, paper manufacturers Joseph-Michael and Jacques-Ètienne Montgolfier lived out what could easily be a lost episode of The Office when they managed to build a contraption — mostly out of paper, mind you — that allowed them to stay in the air for about ten minutes, during which they travelled a distance of over a mile. My suspicion is that even then, they only landed because they each thought the other was bringing the cheese knife.

The Montgolfier brothers were, of course, riding in their invention of the hot air balloon on its first untethered flight with human occupants, thus making them the first human beings with the privilege of spitting from such heights. They were so impressed with their own awesomeness that they named the hot air “Montgolier gas,” mistaking it for a previously undiscovered element. 

So you could say they were kind of full of themselves. But it's not like the French have the market cornered on hot air. In fact, some say that the Wright Brothers themselves were full of it.

Ask anyone in Brazil who was the first person to fly an airplane and they will almost certainly tell you that it was a guy named Alberto Santos-Dumont, a man who is a national hero in their country for just that reason. Also, he was an eccentric aristocrat who was known for being a particularly snappy dresser, none of which hurt his reputation any.  

"You may call me Senhor Fancypants."

Most Brazilians who are familiar with the matter contend that the Wright Brothers' first flight in 1903 didn't actually count because they used a catapult. It was therefore not a self-powered flying machine, but a projectile. As you may recall, that first flight didn't exactly end well, either. 

"Remember where we parked."

In 1906, however, Santos-Dumont became the first person to not only take off unassisted, but also fly his airplane a predetermined distance and land safely. I like to imagine that he did it all while twirling his mustache and laughing maniacally. 

Perhaps most impressively, he achieved this feat in a Frankenstein-like contraption that looked like it was made from the salvaged parts of broken Ikea furniture. Personally, I don't think that Santos-Dumont even thought of himself as being in competition with the Wright brothers. I think he just wanted to fly.